August 27, 2014
As I go through this process of creating a new physical manifestation of me, I am reminded of the topic of body shaming. I was recently at the home of one my Matron’s of Honor. She went through a big weight loss about 3 years ago and she mentioned that as she got closer to her goal weight, people kept telling her she was too thin. Too thin? She was not below a healthy weight for her height or frame. There just seemed to be a lot less of her then there used to be. I have to admit that I might have been one of those people. I am not sure but it sounds like something the old me would have said. After I went home and thought about over the next several days, I realized I was guilty of body shaming.
When I was in high school a boy named Danny used to moo at me. Seriously. He would stand in the hallway and moo. It was horrifying. At the time was involved in shot put, I walked everywhere, and if I look back at the pictures of me then, I envy the way I looked. Danny was just an ass.
It was a Thursday and I was so late for class that I did something I would never normally do. The quickest way to class was up a set of stairs that Danny and his friends would often loiter around. Sure enough he was there. I went past him and he mooed even louder then normal. Something snapped. He turned his back on me and one good kick with my steel toed Doc Martens, he went flying and landed on his face. He looked up at me, about to say something. I just stared back and said, “Don’t you ever moo at me or anyone else ever again cause the next time it won’t be just a bloody lip.”
I turned around and headed to class. I was pretty sure that Danny would never live it down that a girl kicked his ass. He was not going to tell on me and he would probably have to defend his manhood against all the crap he was going to get from his friends. I smiled the whole way to class and all the way home that afternoon. Months later, I passed him in the hallway and he sheepishly said hi. I was shocked. He never mooed again. At Prom 2 years later, he asked me to dance. You see, in those two years we ended up friends.
I have also been thinking about what people may say to me after I lose 80, 100, or 188 pounds. Right now people are positive and upbeat about this process. Most people have kept their miracle cures to themselves. I have been successful so that may have kept them at bay.
The big question is why do we do this? Why do we call thin attractive women skinny salad bitches? Why do we say she’s got junk in her truck? Why do we tell people to eat a sandwich when they are on the petite side? Do we dress for ourselves or do we dress to impress? Do we worry what other people think and say about us?
I am making the commitment to not only stop body shaming myself but other women no matter their size. This does not mean that I will not voice my concern if I know someone who is so extremely overweight or underweight that it is a peril to their health. Anorexia and Morbid Obesity are diseases. I have one of them and I would never let someone I love continue to suffer without telling them I was concerned. I promise to not make comments about how someone looks, their size, or their dress. Body shaming is not going to help me lose weight and it certainly will not make me feel better. It is ugly and we need to stop. Generations of women in the future will be happy we did.
