The Seat Belt Extender Dread

I boarded an airplane on Thursday. One of the reasons I am on this journey of weight loss is because on a Southwest flight from Phoenix to Little Rock, I was so miserable in my seat that I had to ask for a seat belt extender.  I have had to do this for a few years.  Why that flight?  Why that trip did it reduce me to tears?  I don’t know.  It just did.  And I am thankful I finally got to that point.  The trip on Thursday was one of both anticipation and dread.

The dread came from the fear that although I have lost 41 pounds since that trip, I would still have to use an extender.  I did not think that I would but I was afraid it may be one of those moments that I am reduced to tears again.  I have to keep telling myself that I have gone from size 24 pants to almost size 18 pants and that I was sure most of the weight had come off around my hips and butt.  I had to remind myself this is a journey.  A destination and along the way I will have bump, a flat tire, and even a breakdown.  I hade to remember that I don’t ever want to go back to where I was before June 30.  There is too much at stake.

When I thought about snapping that seat belt in to the buckle and hearing it click once not twice.  It was a glorious moment for me when I was able to not only buckle the seat belt but that there was at least 4 inches of belt to spare.  I did not cry, I just yelled out YES!!!

I had called United Airlines and their customer service representative did everything they could to find out for me the actual length of each seatbelt on each aircraft.  That was totally impressive.  The seat belts are 31 inches.  I think my hips are measuring at 52. To be on the safe side I reserved the extender.  I am determined to hand it back to the flight attendant.

I think I need to expand more on this.  Using the extender has been a source of shame and embarrassment for me as I gained weight and got heavier and heavier.  I felt like I was sub-human by many a flight attendant.  The looks and glares from other passengers was demeaning and terrible.  On several trips I have felt shamed, guilty, and embarrassed.  I had decided at one point to stop traveling all together but soon realized this was not going to happen.  I love to travel and want to do more.

Now that I have made the choice to improve my health, lose weight and be more active, travel is starting to be exciting for me again.  In the next year we will travel to Indiana, Texas, Nevada, Georgia, and Hawaii.  As the months pass, the less there is of me, the better this will be.  The extender will become just a memory.